So, I had an interesting night last night..

As you guys know, I have OCD and panic disorder, as well as a pinch of other various anxiety disorders, so I definitely know “the A-word” all too well.

Well, Tuesday evening, everything was going fine for the most part, when all of the sudden, I had one of the worst (if not the worst) panic attacks I’ve ever had to date.

Now, I’ve had my share of severe panic attacks—I mean severe—but this one spooked even me. Me, someone who’s been to countless hospital emergency rooms, clinics, psychiatrists, psychologists, neurologists, etc. for over 6, almost 7 years (since November of 2005), which is just insane to me. But, as I’m sure anyone with panic disorder will tell you, you could suffer from panic attacks for years, but every once in a while, you’ll have one that still, still manages to unnerve you, despite all of your knowledge and experience. Yes, despite the racing heartbeat, heart palpitations, chest pain, numbness and tingling in the face and extremities, shortness of breath, hyperventilation, sweating, tunneling vision, feelings of sheer terror and impending doom, and all of that other good stuff, you do eventually get to the point where you realize that no, a panic attack cannot, and will not kill you.

So, the attack itself. To say it was terrifying would be an understatement. My blood pressure felt like it suddenly went through the roof, and I felt as though I was losing consciousness. Thank the Lord for my family’s home blood pressure monitor, because it allowed me to see that though it was a little high (from duh, the panic attack), it wasn’t dangerously high. I tried to relax as best as I could, but the terror was still just ripping through me—I felt totally and completely helpless. In retrospect, I believe all I experienced were the typical, benign panic attack symptoms, though in the moment, I thought I was going to have to be transported to the hospital by ambulance. :( But, after about 30 minutes, I had calmed down enough to have my Mom drive me to the hospital, so off we went.

Something you guys need to know: my local hospital isn’t the best. I mean, every hospital has its days—I’ve been there when the service was excellent, and I’ve been there when the service was awful—but last night was just terrible, probably the worst I’ve ever seen at this particular facility. I don’t know if that’s typical after rush hour, as I’m usually there long before then, but something tells me it just might be, which honestly worries me a little.

Right away when I walked in, the place was packed. Like a sardine can. That was the first red flag—I considered turning around right then and there, and leaving. But, I stayed in line at the front desk, because something told me I needed to be there. I don’t know, it’s weird, I just felt that I needed to be there for some reason. So, I signed in, and, apprehensively, sat down.

Let me introduce you to everyone who was on my side (there are two sections) of the waiting room (from left to right): first, aside from my parents and I, there was a Mom with her daughter who looked to be about 10 years old, with a large bandage wrapped tightly around her knee. She had fallen on something at home, and split it wide open (ouch). Her blood pressure was dangerously high because the incident had scared her so bad, poor thing. :( She walked with her right leg stiffened out, so as to not bend her knee, and make her wound bleed even more, which prompted a flashback for me personally, as I had injured my left knee in a very similar way when I was a little younger than her. I fell in the kitchen, and ripped my knee open. I got stitches (8 to be exact, I think), and had to walk around for 2 weeks with my left leg just as she as she had her right leg, so I definitely sympathize for her.

Then, there was a tall, lanky 25-year-old guy—an ex-Marine. He’s been all throughout the Middle East, and was shot not once, but twice while on active duty, and is extremely lucky to be alive. He’s currently an EMT who was there as a patient himself, but I never caught what he was there for, exactly. I just remember he said he needed to get something checked out.

Next to him was an older woman, 48, about to be 49. I believe she was there for a cracked tooth, she had been chewing on ice when it just cracked. :( She also suffers with really bad back pain as well, and told us all about her ordeal with her medication and such. She was funny, though—when she mentioned how old she was, she was like, “Oh, I’m about to be 50!” :)

After her, there was a couple with a little baby who had been jumping on a bed, and fell, cutting his/her (the baby was wrapped in a blanket) head. I was at the front desk when the Mom came running in with the baby in her arms, blood all over her shirt and everything. It definitely got everyone’s attention, but amazingly, a nurse she ran up to told her to sign in. Unbelievable. That was red flag number two. I thought to myself, “Geez, if they’re just like, whatever about this baby who has a gash on his/her head, they’re definitely not going to give a crap about me, and most of the other people in here, probably.” But, like I said earlier, I signed in anyway, regardless. I needed to be seen by a doctor, and know that I was okay, and I was going to try my best to stick it out, no matter how long it took me to do so.

Last, but not least, there was a 23-year-old guy who was wearing a fur trapper. Right away, I was drawn to him, for some reason. He just looked like a cool guy to talk to, or something, I don’t know. I think it had to do with the fur trapper. I mean, people who wear fur trappers tend to be awesome, right? :) Take Kingsley (from YouTube), for example, haha! Not too long into my wait, his phone went off—his ringtone was Stewie (from Family Guy). “Mom, Mom..” it went, and that’s when I realized my suspicions about him being awesome were correct. ;) He told the couple with the baby that it was his Mom calling (clever, haha)..

..which is when he was greeted by his Mom a few minutes later, the last person in our little waiting room circle. She had what sounded like a Barbadian accent (I meant to ask her where she was from, but didn’t get the chance), yet her son had no accent. I think he was born here in the States, obviously, while his Mom was perhaps born in Barbados, or maybe Jamaica (not sure), and then moved here. :) At one point, she said she was 44, which shocked me, because she easily looked 30 at the oldest. Until I figured out for sure that she was the fur trapper guy’s Mom, I seriously thought she was a friend of his, or something. OMG, this woman was hilarious, HILARIOUS. She too had been to the Middle East, working as a contractor, I believe she said (it’s extremely common to meet soldiers and civilians from all branches around here), and wow, between her and the ex-Marine, they had some stories to tell. They were fascinating, just fascinating. I almost forgot why I was there, and almost wanted to stay just for the conversation, haha! She no longer works overseas (I think), but seemed happy to be home. Considering some of the stuff she had dealt with while being over there, I’m more than 100% sure I’d be happy to be home too.

We all had arrived at the hospital around the same time (about 9:00 PM), and as the hours (yes, hours) dwindled away, we quickly grew together through one common bond: this ER is taking forever! We also realized quickly that we had a lot more in common than just that. The ex-Marine has PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) after being overseas, something the lady with the accent, and many other people who have worked in the Middle East can relate to. I can relate as well, but for a totally different reason, and I told her that. “But,” I said, “then you hear all of these stories, and it really puts things into perspective. You realize that what you’re going through really isn’t as bad as you thought it was!” She laughed, and agreed.

Later on, the little girl had gotten her stitches, and the baby got staples for his/her head injury. We cheered for them in support. It was just awesome, really. Then, the fur trapper guy got called back, and I started clapping, “Congratulations, you’ve just graduated!” I said. The ex-Marine chimed in, “Yah, to go wait again!” We all cracked up. It was hilarious. Though we were in the hospital, everything seemed strangely comical, it was so bizarre!

So, it was down to just me, my Mom (my Dad had gone home to get some sleep), the ex-Marine, and the lady who cracked her tooth. We started talking about how we should all just go get some breakfast together, or order a pizza, as we were starving (haha), and it was already like, 3:30 AM, so why not? HAHA. I told the ex-Marine that he should have some of his EMT friends bring us a pizza via ambulance. “It’s an emergency!” I joked (lol). Everyone laughed.

Not too much longer after that, my name finally got called. I threw my fists up in the air as soon as I heard it. “Yes!” I said (lol). By this time, it was about 3:30-3:45 AM or so, therefore I didn’t give a crap what anyone thought about that, LOL. My Mom and I got up, and as we passed by the ex-Marine, I waved. “Nice talking to you!” I said. “You too!” he replied. The lady who cracked her tooth was away, perhaps smoking a cigarette, or something, as I had seen her leave to go do so a couple of times throughout my wait.

After I got called back, I finally saw a doctor, and got an EKG done. He wanted to make sure everything was okay. I’ve had many EKGs done before, so this was nothing new. He said everything looked excellent, which was great to hear, and I was on my way. As I exited back out into the emergency room lobby, I didn’t see anyone from earlier, and left. My Mom and I rode around my eerily deserted (it’s usually buzzing) hometown, looking for something to eat. By this time, it was probably about 4:30 AM, and I felt like I was in the movie, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist—you know, where they drive around New York City in the middle of the night in search of an indie band named “Where’s Fluffy”? Yah, it was like that, only, it was my Mom and I, and we were in search of food.

Just when we were starting to give up hope, we found a McDonald’s that’s open 24/7.

*Cue The Angels’ Chorus*

YES! I’d never been so happy to see those Golden Arches in my life! Sure, it’s just McDonald’s, but when you have a grumbling tummy at 4:30 AM, and didn’t eat dinner the night before, it looks Heavenly. Plus, you know what this means—it’s 4:30 in the morning, and we’re at a McDonald’s that’s open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week..

BREAKFAST! :DDDD

Being able to get breakfast at McDonald’s seems to be a rarity for most people (lmao), but I managed to get my hands on 2 egg and cheese biscuits. Like I said, I hadn’t had any dinner the night before, so of course, I wanted 2. NO REGRETS.

By the time my Mom and I got home, it was about 5:00 AM. I inhaled my food, and finally went to bed around 8:00 AM. I got up at almost 5:30 PM (I KNOW), and surprisingly, felt decent. I was shocked, really.

What happened that night in the ER I’ll never know for sure. All I know is that we started out as strangers, and ended up friends—almost family, even. We knew nothing about each other at first, but by the end of the night, we had an idea of what each of our life stories were about. It’s just so out of the ordinary, because while people are friendly where I’m from, no one just starts conversations like that. No one just acts like that. That’s not our thing, we’re too “busy” to stop, and pay attention to the things that really matter to just do that. I believe it was divine connections for sure.

We didn’t trade any contact information or anything, but perhaps the other night won’t be the first time our paths cross. Then again, maybe it will, only time will tell for certain. I think we were meant to be in that place at that time for a reason—perhaps to remind each other that we really aren’t alone. At least, that’s what I took from the experience. I mean, if I have that much in common with a handful of people in one room, imagine how much you have in common with the whole world! Of course, we know we’re not alone, and that there are hundreds, thousands, millions, and maybe even billions of people who all know exactly how we feel, but sometimes we just forget that fact. That night reminded me that human compassion still exists, and it just gives me so much hope.

I went to bed with a smile on my face—I wonder if anyone feels the same way about the night’s events as I do. I’ll never forget that night.